Bedside Feelings by CSI Ballistics [ - ]
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Category: CSI: Miami - General
Characters: Calleigh Duquesne
Rating: PG-13
Genres: Drama, Hurt Comfort
Warnings: None

Summary: What would have happened if Detective John Hagen hadn't died, but Alexx could have saved him instead? If John had survived, how would Calleigh have reacted on it... how would their relationship have developed if at all?

The light beeping noise of hospital monitors pulled CSI Calleigh Duquesne out of her nightmare and brought her back to reality. She tiredly rubbed her eyes and looked up into Detective Hagen's sleeping face. A medical tube came from his mouth and a large bandage sat around his head. She could hear footsteps behind her that suddenly came to a halt. Calleigh didn't look away from John's face, and spoke, "No, Alexx. I'm not leaving. It's all my fault that he's in here in the first place."

The African American woman pulled up a chair beside her friend and sat down on it. "Calleigh, honey... Go home and get yourself some rest. You have been here for six hours straight, and–" "When is he going to wake up?" Calleigh's voice interrupted, sounding weak and rough, barely louder than a whisper.

"I cannot say. It could be mere hours or days..."

"Then I'm going to be here for the next hours or days... I'll be fine," she insisted. "I– Oh, gosh, Alexx, he just squeezed my hand!"


"You're in the hospital. You tried- You tried committing suicide in my gun lab, but you were very lucky and that bullet fortunately enough didn't damage anything vital. Alexx has taken care of you until you arrived here. You have been unconscious for a few hours," Calleigh quietly summarized in response to John's questions where he was and why. She swallowed, only looking up at him when she'd stopped talking. The tube that had provided him of air earlier had now been removed. His eyes were open.

"Remind me to thank her later," Hagen grumbled trying to get up using the metal triangle dangling above his head. The blonde got up and helped him. "Thank you... Have you been here since I–" "Yeah." Silence fell between both adults.

"I love you, Calleigh," Hagen spoke, looking deep into her bright green eyes, trying to clarify his statement.

"John..." the blonde uneasily started. "I don't feel the same way about you. Things have gotten different now." She sighed, looking away from him instinctively. "You are a very good man, John, but we don't fit together. We just... don't. We need other things in a relationship. I need... I need freedom, and support. I want to come home in a warm home, be able to cuddle and act silly without more having to be involved..."

"Calleigh..." Hagen spoke. "I'll change, I'll change for you..."

"You won't. We both are aware of that."

"Calleigh, I love you..." Hagen almost begged, desperately grasping for her hand with his. She thankfully held onto it for a brief second, then let go again. He wanted to show her how much he loved her... She had to understand that he couldn't go on without her...

"John. I'm sorry. I cannot be with you anymore. It wouldn't do any good for either. You have to let go of me." Without any more words, John simply turned her his back, releasing a few winces. "John?" She tried, but he wouldn't answer her. "John?" She tried once more, and when again no reply came, she got up from her seat beside his hospital bed and walked towards the door, turning around in the doorway and directing him one last glance before leaving.

When the door fell closed behind the pretty CSI that had once loved him back, one tear rolled down Hagen's cheek and dripped into the too white pillow.